How to tell somone you have herpes

You may want to tell a partner that you have herpes. Letting someone else know that you have herpes can be a nerve-racking experience. We provided a range of tips, tactics and techniques to help you tell other people you have herpes without fear, anxiety or other common issues.

how to tell someone you have herpes,how to tell someone you have hsv2

Don't just talk about how it's caught, talk about the facts

Most people know little or nothing about herpes. Frequently, what knowledge they have is coloured by myth and misconception. Having the correct information not only makes it easier for your partner, it makes it easier for you.

Preparing to tell your partner

You may feel comfortable with being able to express myself to potential partners. Coming out as “herpes positive” can feel stressful and difficult, especially when it’s directed at a person you care about and with whom you’d like a romantic or sexual future. Luckily, it’s rarely as big a deal as people make it out to be—in practice, it usually goes very smoothly.

When you’re comfortable, that comes across. This attitude can be incredibly reassuring to your love interest.If you aren’t comfortable with yourself, that will come across too — your nerves or insecurity could make them nervous.

Make note of the key points you want to include and practice the “script” a few times in front of the mirror or a close friend until you feel comfortable talking about. The more you are prepared, the easier telling him that you have herpes is going to be.

Following are some of the basic facts about herpes that might be important points to tell a partner. There is a lot more information about herpes. Have educational materials on hand for your partner.

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How long should you know someone before you tell them?

If it appears the two of you could end up in bed on the first date, that’s probably a good time. Ideally, though, it’s best to give it a few dates before telling.

Allow the relationship to develop a little. It’s going to be easier if the two of you enjoy a degree of comfort and trust in each other’s company. It’s probably better to wait until you know and trust each other.

Choose the right times / place to bring up this topic

Some of the more inappropriate moments include the crowded bar or party scene, travel en route to a romantic weekend, or a talk when you’ve just finished having sex. Talking just prior to love-making is not a good idea either.

Bring up the issue when you are not already ‘in the mood’ for sexual intimacy, when you’re feeling good about yourself, and when you both have an opportunity to have a discussion.

The discussion could take place anywhere you feel safe and comfortable. Some people turn off the TV, take the phone offthe hook, and broach the subject over a quiet dinner at home. Others prefer a more open place, like walking in the park, so that their partner will feel free to go home afterwards to mull things over. This allows both people to work off a little nervous energy at the same time.

Don't handle it as a monologue, open up the conversation

A straightforward and positive conversation about herpes issues is the best approach and may be helped by forward planning. You can also look for logical opportunities to bring up the subject. This way it seems more natural, there’s no time to get nervous, and you’re not making it into a bigger deal than it is.

The following opening statements represent a variety of nonthreatening ways to prompt discussion.

“I have something I’d like to discuss with you. Have you ever had a cold sore? The reason I ask is that cold sores are caused by a type of virus. Herpes simplex virus. I have the virus. Only instead of getting a sore on my mouth, I get one in my genital area.”

“When two people get along as well as we do, I think we owe it to each other to be totally honest. I’d like to talk about our sexual histories.”

“I feel that I can trust you and I’d like to tell you something personal. Last year, I found out that I had contracted genital herpes.”

useful tips to make it easier to tell

Let your partner know How common herpes is and many celebrities and famous star with herpes too. Statistics range from 11% to 20% of the population when it comes to HSV-2, meaning you can correctly and accurately let your partner know that up to one in five people is infected with the virus.

If your partner is curious about the virus, it can be worthwhile to share some information about how often you experience outbreaks. If you have asymptomatic herpes, you can even let your partner know that you don’t get the visual lesions that other people with HSV-2 might.

Ease Their Concerns about Transmission

One of the things that scares people when they're thinking about dating with herpes is the risk for potential partners. They're concerned about the possibility that they might spread herpes to someone they care about. Let them know that it’s possible to have sex without their getting it. (Related: what is your chance of spreading herpes).

Educate them that in fact, there’s actually a very low rate of transmission if you avoid sex during outbreaks. That that low rate becomes 30% lower if you use condoms. And much lower if you use Valtrex as suppressive therapy and condoms. In fact, the chances are vanishingly small according to studies done by Valtrex about transmission rates under various conditions. At that point, it’s downright unlikely.

Most people will appreciate that you told them and respect you for it, even if they do ultimately decide they can’t accept it Some will want to take some time to think about it, and that’s normal,so let them have that time.

Don't push your partner to make decision. Ask him/her to take whatever time they need to go over the information and to feel free ask you any questions if they want. If they care about you enough, they will take the time to learn the facts about herpes. As a result, it’s nice to let them know they can have as much time as they need.

Unrealistic expectations

Some people react negatively no matter what you say or how you say it. Others might focus more energy on herpes than on the relationship. These people are the exception, not the rule. This is not a reflection on you. You are not responsible for their reaction. If your partner is unable to accept the facts, encourage him or her to speak with a medical expert or counsellor.

The majority of people will react well. They will respect the trust you demonstrate in sharing a personal confidence with them. With the proper approach and information, herpes can be put into perspective.

Dealing With Rejection

Anyone who dates should be prepared for rejection. The truth is, some people will reject you when they find out you have herpes. If you get the "I just want to be friends" talk after telling your sweetheart you have herpes, consider this: He or she may have already been looking for a way out, and herpes was as good an excuse as any. What's more, anyone who disdains or humiliates you for having herpes was never worth your while.

However, if you do these things, then being diagnosed with herpes is not the end of the world:

Talk about your diagnosis early.
Have information handy so that you can talk honestly about the actual risks and concerns of the disease.
Be willing to do what you can to reduce the chance you will spread herpes to your partner.

Herpes can also help us to choose more wisely when it comes to partners and relationships. Now you will be smart and safe about your sexual choices and partners for the rest of your life – and once you get past the undue shame that herpes can bring, you will realize that this is a very empowering thing (and especially for us young people – to take control of your sexual future and to be wiser and more mature for it is VERY empowering).

Herpes Dating Sites

Some people decide to skip the embarrassment of having to tell someone about their herpes altogether, and opt for online dating for people with herpes. Positive Singles is the best among all the herpes dating sites. This can be a great avenue, but don’t rule out the idea of meeting someone who doesn’t have it! Keep your head up, be comfortable when presenting your status, and see what happens!

The #1 site to meet other people with herpes

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How to tell someone you have herpes. Story from someone who's done it.

How to bring up the herpes talk comfortably and painlessly as possible. Loanzon shared her exprience. Read the tips and advice about how to tell someone you have herpes.