How to Handle Dating When You Have Herpes

Is dating life over with herpes? When someone is first diagnosed, the thought of dating with herpes can fill them with horrible anxiety. They may wonder if they will ever find love again. Why is dating with herpes so stressful? After herpes diagnosis, people may be worried about being judged. They may be scared they could spread herpes to their future partners. They may simply be terrified about how they are going to face the world.

Fortunately, it turns out that most of the time dating with herpes isn't nearly as scary as worrying about it.Here are some simple things to consider if you don’t want Herpes to get in the way of your dating life.

how to handle dating with herpes

First love yourself

Overcoming the herpes depression begins with accepting your diagnosis. After which you have to forgive yourself and others. Staying positively minded will elevate you to greater heights of recovery. Finally, you can get assistance from support groups, counselors, and therapists. But it all begins with believing that you can overcome your situation. Did I say that learning about the infection and what to expect during the outbreaks helps too?

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Facing the Stigma

One of the most significant challenges when dating with herpes is the stigma attached to the condition. The fear of rejection and judgment can be overwhelming. It's essential to remember that herpes is a manageable medical condition, and many people live fulfilling lives with it. Overcoming the stigma starts with self-acceptance.

Common problems about dating with herpes

After herpes diagnosis, people may be worried about being judged. They may be scared they could spread herpes to their future partners. Fortunately, it turns out that most of the time dating with herpes isn't nearly as scary as worrying about it.

1. Can you handle people’s uneducated reactions?

All you need to make sure of is that you can handle people’s uneducated reactions. If you’re ready to date then you should be ready to face your Herpes. It isn’t exactly a life-threatening disease but it’s certainly something you have to deal with. Be ready for how you are going to talk about it when the relationship turns more serious. And how you are ready to face and deal with someone who may well, sadly, be ignorant about such issues.

2. People May Not Be So Quick To Judge

People often worry that friends and future partners will judge them if they find out they have herpes. Truthfully, sometimes that happens. People can be quite cruel to someone after herpes diagnosis. However, they're just as, if not more, likely to be kind.

The truth is that herpes is extremely common. Genital herpes affects at least 20 percent of the population at some point during their lives. That's one in five. Because of how common it is, most people already know one or more people with herpes. They may even have it themselves.

When people realize how common herpes is, how often people don't have symptoms, and that they could be infected without knowing it... It makes them much less likely to throw shade.

3. Do not judge yourself

After you've been diagnosed with herpes, it may be difficult to think about anything other than the fact that you have a disease. But that's all it is - a disease. It isn't who you are. One of the toughest things to remember when dating with herpes is that mostly it's just dating. Dating is an activity fraught with the potential for drama, pain, and heartbreak for pretty much everyone. Herpes is just one factor in the equation.

A herpes diagnosis often doesn't seem like that big a deal. If someone like you enough, herpes can be just something he or she has to work with. Just like you have to work with a partner's snoring or their affection for mornings.

4. Be Upfront About Your Diagnosis

The first date after a genital herpes diagnosis may seem a little strange, however. If you hope to be sexually intimate with your date at some point, you may feel like you're keeping a secret. If you are one to be candid with people, you'll want to blurt it out. Don't.

If you’re honest with your new partner up front then that will save any hassle and feelings of not being able to trust each other in the future. The future is when it becomes more potentially damaging. Obviously, bringing it up before you’ve even had your first meal together might be a bit too hasty, but leaving it until after a few sexual encounters will be far too late!

You must realize, that if you have Herpes type 2, or even an outbreak of Herpes type 1 on your mouth, that you can infect your partner also. There are ways and means to stop this happening. Being honest is the very first step.

Even when you avoid sex during outbreaks, use condoms and follow other safe sex practices, there’s still a risk of transmitting the virus. This makes it essential that your sexual partners are informed.

One of hardest things about dating with herpes is deciding when to disclose your diagnosis to your partner. If you wait to tell your partner that you have herpes until after you've had sex, the revelation may feel like a betrayal. You will have denied them the opportunity to make an informed decision about risk. You don't have to do it on the first date. The timing really depends on the people involved.

How do you tell someone you have herpes? The hardest part may be deciding how to broach the subject. The specific words and phrases you use will obviously be highly individual depending on what kind of relationship you’re building. In general, though, don’t make a big deal of it. It can be as simple as the following:

"I like how things are going in our relationship, and I'm hoping we'll end up in bed sometime soon. Before we do, I wanted to let you know that I have genital herpes. I take suppressive therapy, and haven't had an outbreak in a while, so the risk of passing it to you is low. Still, it's not zero, so I wanted you to have a chance to think about it before we get intimate. You don't need to respond right now. When, and if, you're ready, I'm happy to talk with you more or to just send you some information."

Continue to read more tips in the article how to tell your partner about you have herpes and check the experience from other people who has done it.

5. The Right Person Won't Reject You

The truth is, some people will reject you when they find out you have herpes. However, if you do these things, then being diagnosed with herpes is not the end of the world. Most of people with herpes have active, happy dating and sexual lives. The truth is, it's so hard to meet the right person that dating with herpes makes it only the tiniest bit harder.

Herpes can also help us to choose more wisely when it comes to partners and relationships. Now you will be smart and safe about your sexual choices and partners for the rest of your life – and once you get past the undue shame that herpes can bring, you will realize that this is a very empowering thing (and especially for us young people – to take control of your sexual future and to be wiser and more mature for it is VERY empowering).

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Herpes Dating Sites

Some people decide to skip the embarrassment of having to tell someone about their herpes altogether, and opt for online dating for people with herpes. Positive Singles is the best among all the herpes dating sites. This can be a great avenue, but don’t rule out the idea of meeting someone who doesn’t have it! Keep your head up, be comfortable when presenting your status, and see what happens!

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How to Reduce Your Chances of Spreading Herpes to Your Partner

One of the things that scares people when they're thinking about dating with herpes is the risk for potential partners. They're concerned about the possibility that they might spread herpes to someone they care about.

Fortunately, there are ways to reduce the likelihood you will spread herpes during sex. Suppressive therapy, for example, can lower the risk of transmission significantly. Using condoms consistently, even for oral sex, can also make a big difference in your partner's risk. If you take the necessary precautions, the chances of spreading the virus to your partner are small.