How to accept a herpes diagnosis and increase your Self-Esteem
Herpes is mostly harmless and very common. It's not curable, but it is controllable. While some providers do encourage herpes screenings, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists advise herpes tests only for symptomatic patients or those with a partner known to have the virus. It's the stigma surrounding herpes — that it is gross and worthy of ridicule and happens to bad people — that's malignant.
Do not let herpes define you
Herpes does not change all the good and wonderful things that make you ‘you’. It has nothing to do with your intelligence, social habits, or bank account. You are a loving, sexual, whole individual and no-one else on the planet has the things that you have to offer – remember this. This skin condition does not make the essence of you any less beautiful.
More people than you could ever imagine are affected by herpes, including some of your family, friends and co-workers. It’s just that people don’t talk about it! There are 40+ famous people and star with herpes with herpes too.
If you are at a party, a work place or family gathering and there is 20 people there, guess what? Statistically 4 people at this gathering have genital herpes and nearly 14 will have oral herpes. Yikes! Looks like the people without herpes antibodies are the odd ones out.
Have herpes & feel alone? Meet nearby people with herpes
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Herpes is for life, but so are many other conditions
Do not be discouraged by herpes. Although there is currently no “cure” for herpes there are definitely effective ways to manage the symptoms and precautions that you can take to help prevent transmitting herpes to a partner.
Keep in mind that there is no cure for any virus at this time, including the common flu, measles, mumps, chickenpox, etc. All of us have caught one of these viruses at some stage in our life and still have the virus inside of our body. It is no different with herpes.
Your immune system is perfectly capable of dealing with and permanently suppressing any virus that it encounters, including herpes, but sometimes the body needs help and persistence to get on top of the symptoms.
Paying attention to your health and being consistent with a treatment regime.
If you act like it’s not a big deal, it’s not.
Having herpes isn’t something most people broadcast, but you will find that the more you own it, the better people respond. You may not start every conversation with, “Hi, I have herpes. Nice weather today!” Still, if it comes up, You can treat it like any other topic. When you treat it like a normal thing that normal people talk about, it suddenly becomes—you guessed it isnormal.
It doesn’t mean you are irresponsible.
After diagnosie, maybe you will be the most careful when it comes to safe sex among your friend circle. When Iyou are interested in sleeping with a crush, you will be going to have a good long talk about STD risks, swap test results, and invest in some condoms. After you have had to come to terms with the fact that sex is a calculated risk.
Do not be judged by others! Meet nearby people with herpes
PositiveSingles is one of the most popular dating websites for people suffering from herpes and other STD. It was initiated in 2001. With 1,510,800+ members you are sure to find lots of potentail people around you.
Join and meet nearby people with herpes, browse profiles and chat now!
The Positive side of having herpes
There is ABSOLUTELY a silver lining to having genital herpes. Here are just a few positive thinking and Acceptance. A diagnosis of herpes can actually have some ‘positive’ effects too. For some people, having herpes can mean a better quality of life by paying more attention to the body and motivating us to improve our overall health.
1) You got herpes.
I know this doesn’t sound like a typical “positive,” but here’s the silver lining: You don’t ever have to worry about getting it from someone else. You’re not ignorant anymore. You’re educated about it. Now you know the importance of having that STD discussion before you get involved with someone. Now you know that a huge portion of the population has genital herpes, that almost ALL of them don’t know it, and that you’re not one of the many people walking around NOT knowing and possibly infecting others.
2) Herpes can also help us to choose more wisely when it comes to partners and relationships.
Now you will be smart and safe about your sexual choices and partners for the rest of your life – and once you get past the undue shame that herpes can bring, you will realize that this is a very empowering thing (and especially for us young people – to take control of your sexual future and to be wiser and more mature for it is VERY empowering).
3) No one is entirely safe from it unless they are celibate.
Herpes is spread through skin-to-skin contact. Condoms do not provide full protection against herpes. Even in practicing “safe” sex with condoms, there is a chance of contracting herpes.
At first this does not seem like a positive, but look at the silver lining: Herpes is not your fault. It is a “sneaky” virus that affects 25% of the population and no one is entirely safe from it unless they are celibate. While the thought may seem “scary” upon first glance, I look at it like, “Well, unless I had asked every guy I was planning to sleep with to go get a type-specific blood test for herpes, then waited a week or more for him to get good results back from the lab BEFORE sleeping with him, I was always at risk.”
My point here is that it’s not realistic that we are always 100% careful when it comes to sex. That, for me, diminishes a lot of the burden and guilt I feel about the sexual situation that exposed me to herpes. There are “promiscuous” people who never contract anything and there are people who get a chronic STD the first time they have protected sex. You are not a slut, you are not irresponsible, you simply got the sh*t end of the herpes stick. End of story.
4) Herpes is not life threatening.
It is a recurring rash with no health complications. It is not by a long shot the worst STD to contract. As with many, many things in life, I personally find that putting bad things into perspective is the most effective way to accept them: I do not have a terminal illness. While my condition is chronic and incurable, I do not have to (knock wood) give myself insulin shots every day or take antiretrovirals or undergo chemotherapy or radiation.
I have a harmless virus. Everyone has their challenges in life, some MUCH more serious than a contagious skin rash. PLEASE remember: It could be SO MUCH worse, and my heart truly goes out to those for whom it is.
4) Herpes can make you healthier
Because you become more aware of your body, what you put into it, do with it and what you think about yourself and life.
We all want to reduce outbreaks and by eating super healthy, excercising, doing things you love, thinking positively, eliminating the shit in your life and connecting deeper with others through honesty and integrity life just gets better!
Herpes is a good kick in the ass to look after yourself better and you get to reap the benefits. Because it's with us for life and can stop us from enjoying one of life's great pleasures there is more motivation to be healthy in every way!
Positive Singles: The #1 site to meet other people with herpes
PositiveSingles is one of the most popular dating websites for people suffering from herpes and other STD. It was initiated in 2001. With 1,510,800+ members you are sure to find lots of potentail people around you.
Know more facts about living and dating with herpes:
- How to have a fulfilling sex life with herpes
- What is your chance of spreading herpes?
- Fear transmission? Try herpes dating sites
- How to handle dating when you have herpes
- How to tell your partner you have herpes
- Overcome the stigma of herpes
- Herpes and getting pregnant: How to protect your baby
- Herpes and HIV
- Do condoms prevent herpes? How likely is it to get herpes with a condom?