Adjusting to a Herpes Diagnosis
What can you do to speed the process of adjusting to herpes? Keep in mind the following:
- Realize that it’s normal to be stressed emotionally by herpes, especially at first. Give yourself time to adjust, and remember that the emotional issues will get easier.
- Try to keep in mind that genital herpes is somewhat like other infections you may have had in the past. You are capable of managing it.
- If you’re feeling isolated, you may need to find someone to talk to. Perhaps you might pick one close friend and tell her or him about it. You can ask that the conversation be kept in absolute confidence. You can also visit a local herpes group if there is one in your area, or visit online support site.
- Try not to make the assumption that having herpes will prevent you from being romantically involved or having successful long-term relationships. There are millions of couples in which one or both partners have this virus. For the vast majority, the relationships stand or fall on far more important issues.
Positive Singles: The #1 site to meet other people with herpes
PositiveSingles is one of the most popular dating websites for people suffering from herpes and other STD. It was initiated in 2001. With 1,510,800+ members you are sure to find lots of potentail people around you.
Recognizing herpes is common
The first step in dealing with a herpes diagnosis, then, is recognizing it as a common, manageable virus, not a punishment or judgment.
You are strong. You are brave. You are beautiful and amazing, and herpes can never take those things away from you. We all know it hurts, physically and spiritually. We know its uncomfortable. You may be ashamed or embarrassed. You may feel sad or angered, even hurt.
But always remember that its not your fault, there are hundreds of thousands of us experiencing the same thing, and the pain will be over soon.You are stronger as a human for coping with this disease. Remember your life’s ambitions. Treat yourself! Heal yourself. calm yourself.
This TEDx talk by Ella Dawson is amazing and you should all watch it.
Health is never perfect
In reality, everyone faces a host of physical challenges as inevitable as life itself. The task is to meet them and get past them. Fortunately, most people with herpes find that, with time, they are able to adjust to the medical and emotional impact of herpes and move on.
If you are experiencing a strong emotional response to a diagnosis, it might be helpful to explore why those feelings may be happening. Closely connected to the issue of self-image is the matter of how we believe others see us. This is where the social stigma about genital herpes – whether perceived or real – can be pinpointed.
One reason that genital herpes raises issues of social stigma is the fact that, as a society, we’re just beginning to feel comfortable talking about sex and sexuality in general. Today, we are surrounded by images of sex in art, entertainment, and advertisements. There are signs as well that on a personal level we are becoming somewhat more open about topics such as sexual orientation and sexual function. With herpes there’s a similar trend to more awareness and openness. Surveys show that the public is more educated on the subject than ever before. Perhaps the day will come when even the idea of social stigma will be a distant memory.
In the meantime, of course, it’s very difficult to separate how one feels about having herpes from worries about how others might feel. Should you tell a friend? Will you be able to remain sexually active? How can you tell a sexual partner or romantic interest? When is the best time to tell? Concerns about any or all of these questions are not unusual for someone newly diagnosed. Rejection and misunderstandings about the nature of a herpes infection can and do happen. But a myriad of personal accounts suggests that in the great majority of cases, herpes does not stand in the way of successful, enduring relationships.